I feel a rant coming on..................

but I am doing my best to control my mood at the moment due to certain issues that are going on.

I feel so low at the moment. I can't go into the full detail here but needless to say I am unhappy and feel as if everything is about to collapse around me. All I seem to want to do is sleep and cry to get it out of my system.

We have the big boss from Head Office coming down tomorrow. His visit could well determine the future of our department when it is up for review as to whether we stay where we are or if they move it up country. I hope that they don't move us because it means I would get to stay there indefinitely. I really like it there still as it is not high pressured and everyone gets on with everyone else.

I have just watched the speedway on TV. Lakeside v Wolverhampton and I must admit that the better team won on the night. Ty Proctor was just brilliant and it was a good solid team performance.

I really can't think of anything else to write at the moment. If I do I will just end up in tears and I don't want that......................

And now for some good news

Went to weigh in tonight and I have lost a pound and a half this week. I am happy with that as I want to do this steadily. I also have a new book of Summer recipes to go through which looks good. Got a couple of ideas from it already. I like the look of the chicken Kievs and Ryan keeps pestering me to make a diet friendly desert so we can all have some. There is a strawberry ice recipe that looks easy. I like trying out new ideas however they do not always come out the way I hope they would.

Work is the same as always. Got loads done today though. Including several referrals that were passed back to me. Trouble is I referred them over two weeks ago and heard nothing.

Cardiff is only 5 days away and I am really looking forward to it. I am getting quite excited about going because it is so long since we went to a speedway meeting. I might even try and get down to Poole a few times to see either of the teams when we can afford it.

Ryan starts an after school club tomorrow. doing waveboarding at the secondary school over the road. It should help with his co-ordination and was one of only 15 kids chosen to do it. I am very proud of Ryan and the way he has come on over the past 3 years. He is a very intelligent child who can learn and remember things very quickly. The only thing he falls back on is his writing and spelling but that is all part of the dyspraxia.

Waiting for Kristie to come in so I can go to bed.........zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Kids and Pools...............

Ok so we had my friend and her daughter over today for a BBQ so we set up the pool for them to play in. Bear in mind it was sunny when it was put up and it clouded over but remained warm and muggy for the rest of the day. So Ryan and Amber after a rather animated conversation about Pokemon decided to go and paddle. Except that they both ended up soaked from head to foot and both were fully dressed at the time. Cue towels to dry off and keep warm. It was well worth it for the look on their faces when they said what had happened. Kids and water...............a recipe for disaster but fun....................

It was also nice to catch up with them as we have not had them over for a very long time.

The BBQ was nice. I still have a large bowl of salad made up in the fridge and some potatoes so I guess that is tomorrow nights dinner solved. Just got to find something to go with it. We had marinaded turkey, sausages, burgers, pork rashers and pork kebabs. We ate indoors because it had cooled down a lot outside.

Before we went out an incident happened that I wish with all my heart had not. My regret was that I did something I should not have done (talk to someone he does not like but I get on OK with) and then was what you might call economic with the truth to start with. They asked about a picture on my website and I replied saying that I would look into sending it to them (which I will not). I should not have replied as it has now caused a problem. The thing is I am finding it hard not to talk to this person. Apart from a happy birthday text this is the only contact for three weeks and that is the truth. But it is the truth that appears to be the problem.

More thoughts tomorrow........................