Now that was hot................

and I don't just mean the weather. Because of the blazing hot day we had (naff winds included so no flying) we had a BBQ this evening. A word of advice though. Take a gallon of water out with you if you ever use a Budwiser Hot Wing Marinade on chicken. Basically it does what it says on the bottle. Hot and spicy is not the word for it. It was nice though. I also have a thing about Sainsburys Pesto Pasta salad from the salad bar. It is lush. really nice and not heavy like some pasta salads. Ryan prefers cheesy pasta salad, Krisite loves tomato and herb and Tim will eat anything that is put infront of him re pasta salad. If the weather holds which it should do we are having another one tomorrow.

Been outside most of the afternoon because of the weather. Did some work in the garden, and had the music on speakers out there. I am sure that the neighbours loved Green Day, Appo remixes, Jack Johnson and Santana. Well I know Kate next door liked our taste in music cos she said so. Ryan spent most of the afternoon in their pool. I must set up the one that they gave us last year so we can have the girls over.

Anyway our tickets for Cardiff came today, I am so glad that they have arrived cos I did wonder how long they would take. I watched the end of the speedway GP from Ullevi in Gothenburg earlier. Did forget it was on though. I hope that the track at Cardiff does not get carved up like this one did as it caused all sorts of problems. Ruts that sent you spiraling out of control and that is just for starters. I was pleased that Sayfutdinov won it though. My only concern is that if he carries on like this he could end up doing a Lewis Hamilton and win the title in his first full season and then fall by the wayside dramatically. I am so looking forward to Cardiff though. Not been to the Millenium Stadium before and its been a long time since I went to Cardiff.

Its a bit like going back to my roots in a sense as my Grandparents came from South Wales. One from Cardiff and the other from Haverfordwest. We visited Haverfordwest when we went on holiday to Tenby about 7 years ago. Told my Dad we had been there and he said that we must have walked over the bridge where they met. I wish we could have more than a day trip down there. A weekend would be nice but not possible right now. My Dad was the first person in his family to be born outside of Wales.

More waffle tomorrow.

Take a tip from me.....................

Always put sun cream on when its sunny and hot. Tim took Ryan out today while I was at work and forgot to put cream on him and he now has a very red neck and face. I have rubbed masses of Vitamin E cream into him and he seems ok now but I will keep an eye on him for a couple of days. It has been so hot today and guess what? the air conditioning in our part of the building failed and we had fans on everywhere.

It is also month end so pay day which meant take away for dinner which was nice. Chinese from the one over the shops by here again. It was also food shop night so we bought a load of BBQ stuff for the weekend and salad too as we all like it. I would be happy to cook like that every weekend cos I don't have to do it.

Doing overtime in the morning as we had so much post in today that it all needs to be cleared so I have agreed that I will do 9 til 1. Or there abouts. I was doing multi account processing today which is the more complicated stuff. Well sort of because there are a lot more things that you cannot do with them. Still enjoying it and still liking the salad bar for lunches. I do get tempted by the other stuff they have there sometimes but not often.

Ok now I am going to attempt to attach a picture. If this works it will be a miracle. Woo hoo just previewed it and it did. It is one I took of Ryan on a recent trip to Lepe Beach which is in the New Forest but close to Southampton Water. Its nice as there is a play area, the beach and country walks all in the same place. We are so lucky living where we do as we are close to the beach and the forest. I know I could never live in a city.

Off to see if anyone had done a half decent picture of me to put in my profile.

Funny sort of day.....................

Where as yesterday was good today has not been so good.

I went to work which was one of those if it could go wrong it did days. I went for the interview that I got a recall on and got told that they had no idea that I had been out there before. I wanted takeaway for tea and got told no and then it was decided that we should renew our kiting insurance before we forget and try and go to the Ho! again.

The interview went ok and was completely different to the original one. It felt more comfortable being there and I was made to feel at ease. I find out tomorrow if I have got it. In some ways I hope that I do and in others not.

I was just scooting around some speedway websites and found a rather interesting forum www.speedway-forum.co.uk/forums/index.php?act=idx Some very good topics not just about the sport in general but things in the past, and all sorts. Not registered yet though. Something to do at the weekend. I really want to go down to Poole one night soon and see a meeting, before Cardiff if I can but the costs are quite high now. Makes me laugh when I used to get in for kids rate til I was 21. One of the topics was about tracks that you wish you had visited that are no longer there. Some of them like Belle Vue (Hyde Road), Cradley and Halifax I have been to. Ones that I wish I had been to when I used to go all the time in the early 80's were Hull (The Boulevard), Exeter, Leicester and Hackney. I still miss going every week. I remember going to Ipswich once and getting home at 4 in the morning just as my Dad was going to work.

Those were the days......................

Thoughts about work....................

Well not a lot of them today because apart from going to work and doing a telephone interview not a lot has happened today. I managed to process 105 mandates between 11 and 4.15 which included 45 minutes of breaks and apparently is more than good for a beginner. Also did masses of batching before 11 and felt exhausted by the end of the day.

Then came the interview. I am not too sure about this because although it is customer service it is dealing with child care services ie babysitters and childminders. I am not sure about this one tomorrow either as it is so far out and I cannot drive. I do wonder why I am going out there again except that they want to see me. As I have said before I like what I do now and its fun now I am getting to know everyone. The money may not be brilliant but its better than nothing at all and to me keeping my brain ticking over is far more important. The job I have now needs a lot of accuracy and I am good at that.

I don't miss insurance at all. I know this contract runs til April and then I may have to look again but if I can continue doing this for as long as possible I would be happy. I have just worked out that the money for the child care services post is about the same as what I am now so why change if its not going to make a difference financially.

I know money is not everything. If money was no object then I would have a house built in Westward Ho! which is my favorite place ever. I'd learn to drive and have a car that was nice and easy to manage but big enough for all the kite gear for trips away. I'd visit Australia to see family and New Zealand to see friends and the kite beaches over there. Oh I can dream..................

Banana and Custard Smooth yoghurt

tastes like chocolate according to him indoors. I leaned over to put his cup of tea down to be asked what chocolate I had been eating. Ummmmm no I have been to weigh in tonight and there is no way I would have eaten chocolate even though I am another 3 lb down. That is since April last year the grand total of 2 stone 3 and a half pound. I seem to have stuck around this weight for ages and what I am trying to do is be even more strict with myself. I think I need to be especially with my birthday and the trip to Cardiff coming up. More fruit and more yoghurt.

Been to work today. Have also been asked to two interviews this week one for a job I went for before and the other is a telephone one which I have also spoken to before but I am not really sure about either of them to be honest. I am happy with the non pressurised environment that I work in at the moment and the fact it is weekly paid is better for us at the moment because then Tim's money sits in the bank and pays the bills where as mine pays for the shopping and other bits.

The raging headache has now finally disappeared. Its only taken 3 and a half days to go. I feel so much better but it is so hot and sticky I can feel that it may come back again. I hate being ill. At least now the depression is under control I feel happier and more in control of what I do.

Been thinking too. About what I really want to do with my life. I need to do that OU course when I have the money. I want to prove to myself that I can do it, along with a few other things like continue the weight loss, get fit, get rid of the depression and stop relying on anti depressants to get me through life and most of all I want to be in total control of everything that I do. Not just for the family but for me as well. I know I am getting better and that it will take time. I have stopped drinking alcohol totally and have no interest in it at all. Except the odd craving for a glass of wine, but that soon passes.

Oh and why is it when they say call me when you finish work I go to and then get moaned at for not calling at dead on half 4. I finished 15 minutes late because I wanted to finish processing what I was doing as I only had 4 left and phoned as soon as I could. I was not being picked up and was doing a bit of shopping after and had a call from one of the interviewers which I returned first. I then called and got moaned at for not texting to say I was going to be later. Arghhhhhhhhhhhhh Men!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so unfit...............

Went over as far as Swanage today with him indoors. Kristie and Ryan had gone to Weymouth. It was a gloriously sunny and hot day with virtually no wind so kite flying was out of the equation. We walked through town stopping to look in Rainbow's End (my favorite shop ever) and nearly bought another long skirt in there.I have a nice dark turquoise one that I got from there just over a year ago which I love and wanted a similar style in another colour. They had a nice dusky pink one but it made me look fat. Well fatter than I am.

Anyway we decided to walk up through the park by the pier and up on to the cliff top.Its not that far but quite a steep uphill climb to get to the point at Dancing Ledge. We did it but had to stop 3 times on the way up because it was a) exhausting and b) practically killed my knees. It was worth it for the view alone when we got there though. Could see for miles around. Coming down was ok as it was downhill the whole way. It was good exercise though.

It was nice to be out in the sunshine again and I managed another couple of hours in the garden again today. I am not a great one for sun bathing. I prefer to be doing something but again him indoors insisted on it and that it would do my eczema good. He is right and it is itching a lot less in some places. I still have the headache but it is nothing like as bad as yesterday.

Back to work tomorrow. Tim is off. Kristie is at college and Ryan is going to a car boot sale with my parents. It means that no one really know what the others are doing or where they should be and the calendar has not got the right info on it. Well it has but as Kristie forgets to update it its a bit of a nightmare.

Its late so I am off to bed. After my cup of tea that is...........................

Trains, Planes and Raging Headaches................

Today we took Ryan to the Eastleigh 100 train depot open day. Got there nice and early before opening time and considering it was mainly for the men of the family I quite enjoyed it. I took Ryan on a steam driven brake van ride which he loved even though it was a very short journey. There were plenty of steam and diesel trains to look at and some electric ones as well. There were also loads of stalls selling all sorts of model railway kits and other things like train books and DVD's even one that sold all sorts of different types of tickets. There were also food and drink stands but we took our own food and just bought an ice cream which was nice.

Eastleigh Rail Depot is actually more or less next door to Southampton Airport. So we had loads of air craft flying over as well which was quite interesting. They come in a lot lower than they do over our house which is under the flight path for Bournemouth Airport. Mind you we get treated to the odd Red Arrows demo when they are flying in the South as they tend to use Bournemouth as its base.

Had the most god awful headache for the past day or so. Not even sure what started it except that no matter what I try it won't go away. I can't take Nurofen because of the anti depressants and the paracetamol is not even touching it. We came home from Eastleigh a bit earlier than we planned to because of it (and Tim's knee) and I spent most of the rest of the afternoon asleep in the gazebo with my bikini and sarong on although I did go topless at one point. Still got it now and all I want to do is sleep. I have never had a headache this bad in my life. I am worried that if it gets in behind my eyes that I will end up in bed for a day or two.

Not sure what we are doing tomorrow as it is all weather dependent. Its clouded over outside now and its a lot cooler. Hope the headache has gone by then.......